Was only there a couple years.
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It was a crappy club with crime issues in an otherwise good location near some high end restaurants. Good riddance. Hopefully a classier place goes in there. Well, once in a while I go to a gay bar, but yeah, I've been doing the online thing since It works much better for me, since I'm introverted.
I'll agree that the primary reason gay bars are closing down is because of internet sites and phone apps. A bar is typically something you do on a Fri or Sat night to socialize face to face which is a good thing or watch a drag show. As a gay person however, I don't see the point in going to straight bars. I mean, what's the point? Might as well take out the guess work and go to a gay bar so that you know that the other men there are also interested in men.
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But yeah, I guess times have changed. I never really go to NYC.
The last time I went to that wretched place was five months ago. It still takes an hour just to drive there, which is too far IMO. And the ridiculous tolls. Originally Posted by nep Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Additional giveaways are planned. Detailed information about all U. Posting Quick Reply - Please Wait. User-defined colors Preset color patterns.
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View detailed profile Advanced or search site with. Page 1 of 4. Jacksonville, FL 11, posts, read 13,, times Reputation: Advertisements Pulse in New Haven. Coastal Northeast 15, posts, read 21,, times Reputation: CT 2, posts, read 1,, times Reputation: Originally Posted by mrgmrg Gay bars are closing because fewer gay people at least in open and liberal communities like Connecticut find it necessary to segregate themselves.
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Originally Posted by kidyankee Nep, you need to stop your complaining and start looking into things more intellectually. Coastal Connecticut 14, posts, read 17,, times Reputation: Connecticut 24, posts, read 40,, times Reputation: Originally Posted by nep Well, once in a while I go to a gay bar, but yeah, I've been doing the online thing since We could get together, hang out. He came over, hung out, and it went from there. Despite the benefit of meeting men through various technologies, several participants cited concerns about their sexual and physical safety with anonymous or transient partners met online.
Kyle, a mixed-race year-old man, noted his sexual safety concerns with anonymous partners met online:. As a result of these concerns, some participants preferred to meet men in person, rather than online. For example, Rafael, a year-old Latino man, who grew up in a small city south of New Haven, perceived men he knew from the nonvirtual community to be safer in terms of risk for HIV and other sexually transmitted infections STIs than men he might meet online.
In the context of the relatively small gay communities that existed in these small cities, participants described having limited access to designated gay spaces such as bars, bookstores, and public gathering spaces; this posed challenges to their ability to connect with other men and find environments offering protection from stigma. For example, Marvin, a year-old Black man and lifetime resident of New Haven, and Frederick, who had lived in New Haven for just under 2 years, noted the limited number of gay bars in the city.
Men often cited the opportunity to create a community of similar others in virtual spaces, particularly in small cities where such communities may not exist. For example, several men enjoyed the comfort of accessing virtual communities where they could disclose their preference for sexual behaviors that their peers might consider taboo e. Participants also described the ways in which technologies helped them navigate sexual minority stigma that was perceived as more prevalent in smaller cities relative to larger ones. Concerns about being verbally or physically assaulted due to being gay or bisexual were heightened in nonvirtual pick-up situations, and many men spoke about the local challenges of identifying potential sex partners in such settings.
For example, Carlos, a year-old Latino man, described the possible consequences of trying to determine if a man is gay in public spaces in the city:. Why you looking at me, faggot? As a result of the stigma and relative lack of anonymity in small cities, many participants felt pressured to conceal their sexual orientation. Charles, a year-old White man and New Haven resident, originally from the South, described the comparative safety and convenience of online dating: These technologies also seemed to be particularly useful to discreet men who expressed concerns about being outed in a small city where there was limited anonymity.
Still, the lack of face-to-face contact in virtual environments led some men to have concerns about the true identity of the individuals with whom they interacted in these settings.
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As a result of these anonymity concerns, some men were cautious about meeting virtual connections in person. While technology use could not entirely mitigate concerns about being outed, it still provided both out and discreet participants with the opportunity to connect with other men and socialize in the safety of a virtual setting where their identity could be managed.
While many men appreciated technology for its ability to connect them to other men and create virtual communities, quite a few spoke about the loss of physical gay spaces and community visibility in their small cities as a result of increasing technology use. The technology-induced decline may be particularly relevant to small cities where the number of physical gay spaces is already limited and potentially more fragile than larger gay enclaves.
Indeed, several men spoke to the tenuous nature of gay spaces in small cities, noting the closing of gay bars and bookstores, and the discontinuation of gay events. Well, I think too the Internet has played a big role.
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In addition to describing the closure of gay spaces, many men reported that the remaining venues were sparsely frequented, contributing to less community cohesion. Michael, a White year-old, who lived outside of Hartford for 25 years, explained,. When I first moved here of course there was a very visible gay community because the only way that you could be in the community was to go to the bars. You can hook up with people online. So when I have been into the bars. It used to be packed. Now you can walk in on Friday night and it might be half the size of a crowd.
Like Michael, many men attributed the decline of gay spaces and cohesion to the fact that men no longer need to connect in person given online alternatives. The declining significance of meeting men at bars was most often cited by older men, like Ronald, a year-old Black man and long-time resident of New Haven, who noted,. But now with all the social networks on the computers, people are meeting more that way than they are in a gay bar. Marvin, a year-old Black man, and another long-time New Haven resident, described the changing visibility and cohesion of the gay community as most evident among younger gay men in small cities.
The younger people do not socialize anymore because of the Internet. I mean they come out to the bar on Friday and Saturday to get drunk and all that stuff and hang out with their friends, but, otherwise, they are home on the Internet. We used to have once-a-month get-togethers where it was potluck. While primarily noted by older men, even some of the younger men were nostalgic for the once vibrant gay nightlife in New Haven.