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This divide seemed commonplace, even manifesting itself within a speed dating event in Sydney.

10 great gay films from east and south-east Asia | BFI

At the event, we were given 12 dates at five minutes each and no one was allowed to talk about work. Interestingly a lot of the people I came across were open to everyone in terms of race when I asked them.

Gay Chinese couple talks about acceptance in US vs. China

I wanted to pry even further though, so I inquired if there were any patterns or differences in their dating experiences when it came to dating either white or Asian men. Three people separately mentioned smell which I guess is fair.

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A guy called Don told me he felt more comfortable with Asian guys since more of them wanted something similar in terms of a relationship , while Caucasian men were either interested in a hookup or seemed much older than him. Another person, Jason agreed with this and said that he preferred Asian men because they were similar in their traditions.


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Jason also felt that other Asian men were culturally more family orientated and more open to monogamy and dating, whereas western guys appeared to be focused on sex. As Eric continued to talk, he revealed how he became more comfortable with his cultural heritage growing up.

It was during that process he became more open to dating other Asian men. Jason also recalled a similar experience. He believes some Asian men go through a journey where they discover themselves in life, and then are ready to date other Asians. In a sense, being able to attain this whiteness even through association through others marks a sense that we belong to this sort of class. Growing up as an Asian person in Australia can also be a disorientating experience be- cause of the bodies that surround us.

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We might personally wish that we had blue eyes and blond hair so we fit in to the represented ideal or normal person. And in addition to our sense of selves, our skewed ideals of romance are constructed through the same lens. On the contrary, if our experiences of Asian, or othered coloured men are reduced to shallow stereotypes, then how are we expected to believe in or love them?

In our journey for belonging, maybe awareness is the first step that we should take collectively to accept all the parts that come together to make us who we are. You can also read our latest magazines or Join us on our Facebook page and Twitter feed.

10 great gay films from east and south-east Asia

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